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RFKC 2011: Our Great Hope

In a recent 2-day adoptive parenting training class I attended, the following phrase was offered to counter a popular but potentially hazardous myth, and thereby as motivation for attending such trainings:

Love is not enough.

At first glance that maybe somewhat disappointing, but it is actually quite true. This has become apparent to me after participating in Royal Family Kids Camp for several years and by being an adoptive parent. I love the kids we serve at camp and I love my daughter, but both have the potential – and I know this through experience – to leave me frazzled on good days and down-right depressed and filled with doubt on bad days. The amount of love I have seems irrelevant at times.

But the myth that “love is enough” deserves further inspection because the heart of the myth – love – is the heart of God. Even if love is not enough, it most certainly plays a part, an important part. So then, what role does love play, and what does love look like at RFKC?

Love is unconditional. Love is a choice. Love does not judge.

Love is motivational – and this seems to be the crux where they myth that love is enough loses its holds. Because of our love for these kids, we are motivated to care for them well and not just check a box. Part of caring for them well is showering them with love to be sure, but it quickly becomes apparent that more is needed. Kids from hard places turn aggressive when shown love. It is safer for them to lash out in violence than risk loosing control and allowing themselves to be loved. They turn deeply into themselves when they realize they are growing attached to a new person, because the people that they have been attached to in the past have hurt them. So because of our love, because of the God-given compassion that fills us, we are motivated to become educated. To understand these behaviors. To enable ourselves to spend more time connecting with a precious child than managing their symptoms. To understand brain chemistry. To learn how fight-flight-freeze is manifest in kids with sensory processing disorder and anxious or disorganized attachments.

RFKC is not a week of treating kids like royalty and helping them form positive memories by pretending that everything is ok. Nor is it a week of supervising damaged goods. Because we love these kids we learn to meet them where they are, and because we meet them where they are we can connect with them and truly show them what it means to be loved – and that is a memory that will last.

Through our love, we learn that love is not enough. And for me, this represents a source of great hope for RFKC 2011.

 

You can read more about Royal Family kids Camp at the RFKC PAGE

Permalink: http://tnl.org/hope-for-rfkc

Categories: Royal Family Kids

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